How to love

I don't know what I'd do without music, I love to sing and play instruments... hidden talent ya didn't know lol. Well I can hold a tune but I'm no India Arie.  So, I'm driving listening to "How to Love" by Lil Wayne and naturally I'm touched... actually this is my second time hearing the song, the first time I dismissed it... but I knew it would happen again cause I never let em hit and quit me...anyway it crept on me I felt like dang, I've been holding my heart hostage and the one I thought was different tore it to shreds. I know how to love, well its not something you're taught its something you feel it flows from your soul , all u wanna do is make the other person happy. So you bend over backwards to show em you care when you're ready, you call, text, email well at least I do. When I love I love hard, and when its over its the toughest thing to walk away from. Oh well Hustle is on... so make sure you hustle hard!!

Check me out...

So, I think I am going to link my USTREAM to my BLOGGER if that is possible. Whenever I get around to it then I will, but in the mean time go ahead and check out my ustream my screenname is Jennbunny1721

Can't believe it... really?

My day started off all wrong, I've been extra super tired lately and have no clue as to why...

Anyway, I am becoming more and more annoyed with someone and that someone is me. I need to get it together and let this go cause I am undoubtedly slowing down my own progress whether in a healthy relationship or as a sophisticated single. I gotta get out of Texas, any ideas?

June 21st

As I lay across my bed typing this my body tenses up, I feel flushed  and empty while I suppress the tears that fighting for their right to free themselves from my ducts and trickle down my face. I'm hurt, but I don't want to cry; afraid of showing weakness even when no one's around to see it. People read though. I just don't know how let it go, let him go. I suppose I'm trying perhaps not as fervently as necessary cause whatever I feel for him is deep... it runs throughout my being and I wish it would go away. I want it to end because no matter how many times he says I am beautiful or he cares, he doesn't show it. Lifehouse sings about a mutual love in the background... a love that I have yet to find. A tear breaks free from my left eye, I can't even control my tears... I seem to always fall alone when I fall. So why do I hang onto a fantasy? I know better. My emotions cripple reason and I fall deeper everyday.

I love that we are offered options on life... choices. Today's choices impact tomorrow, our future.

Father's Day

So, I dont know why I've chosen to title this entry Father's Day... because it has nothing to do with my Dad SO WHATEVER. Any who... I have come to the realization that I have lost my own game. I was in a crap ass relationship a while back that singed my heart severely The one guy I loved turned my life upside down and from that day forward I altered my idea of how to "handle" men in my life. After I decided to leave that loser alone, I adapted this attitude of all men cheat all men are liars, dogs etc... you know typical women scorned stuff... but something happened, I changed. I became this cold young lady that didn't attach or if I felt as if an attachment to a man was approaching then I would quickly cut it off, move on and put them in their place. In an essence I began to treat young men the way they treated me, I played a mind game, pretended to care and then dropped them like a bad habit... never really mattered because I was and still am convinced that these guys only wanted me for my body. Some pretended to give a damn but I am sure it was all a front, they had to have been baffled by my actions... how could a sweet and innocent young lady walk away like "whatever dude, you will be replaced?" IDK how I did it but I did. 

I denied myself the luxury ... I'll get to the luxury later... it super late and I have a long day ahead of me. 

So much to say but my mind can't condense it all...

I have a response for that

It maybe months later but I have a response for your rant on premarital issues... so it's coming soon. Thanks